Musings
Rainy Season
Now that we’re in summer, let’s recap the rainy season.1 Our first fall & winter was a shock to the system. November and December was torrential rain. We’re talking two-week, non-stop stretches of heavy rain. Three separate times we were thus deluged. Forget the blue skies, crisp weather, and leaves changing that made fall perhaps our favorite season. We were told it was an unusually rainy season, but we put it down to the fact that people were just trying to give us hope.
This year’s rainy season was completely different. Throughout the season we had significant stretches of gorgeous, sunny, blue skies days. Sure, we had rain, and yes torrential at times, but never lasting too long. Sure hope this is the norm!
Ruminations on Social Networks
We’ve been here just shy of two years. We spent the first five months curled in a fetal position, so we’re not really sure they count. ;-) Our friends are legion - we have never been so blessed to have so many friends.
We were wondering why it is so much easier to make friends - and meaningful close friends at that - here. We’ve decided it’s because many people that we meet are also immigrants. They too have reduced social networks, and as such, are more open to new friendships. And the Portuguese people we are friends with have been surprisingly willing to embrace us in their existing social circles.
Extrovert/Hugger Alert
Are you someone who likes to chat with the random stranger you’re 1. passing on the street 2. standing in line with 3. waitstaff, etc.?
I have found it very hard here in this respect. First, I simply can’t start chatting with people I bump into because the likelihood that we share a language is slim. My Portuguese is growing, but not even close to the point where I can have a natural conversation with someone. At this point, doing so requires them to change languages for me. Which is an imposition.
Hugging is also an issue. I’m a hugger. I’m as like to hug you on introduction as I am to shake your hand. Folks here don’t hug. They do the European kiss on both cheeks. At first this was particularly harsh. Over time, I’ve come to appreciate this ritual, but it isn’t the same.
I recently cracked the code: the immigrants at church are all happy to give hugs!
Expat or Immigrant
Before moving here, we joined Facebook groups geared toward people who are moving here. On these groups, almost exclusively people refer to themselves at expats.
Expat: Someone who lives outside their own country, often temporarily and/or for work.
Immigrant: Someone who moves to another country permanently.
Once here, we discovered that there is a significant class division among people who move here. Generally, expats are thought to be white, have sufficient resources, and are educated. Immigrants are … well, think Build That Wall.
To confuse things even more, within the board game community - and to a lesser extent our church community as well - we have bumped into people who are here for a couple of weeks/months/2 years and then they move on to another country.
Interestingly most people who are Portuguese seem ok with the immigrants, but not the expats. Perhaps because it is the expats’ wealth that is driving up the housing market.
We feel we are immigrants, and so that is what we use.
Alcohol
My first visit to a Portuguese doctor, and she asked me:
Do you drink alcohol.
-No.
No???
-No.
Why not??
-Um, I don’t really care for the taste?
It comes in lots of different kinds you know with all different flavors!
Um, Toto, we’re not in Kansas anymore.
Wine is literally cheaper than water. You walk into any store - from a wine shop to the neighborhood convenience store to your local frutaria - and wine is for sale. Cheap! And apparently it’s quite decent wine. No 2 buck chuck.
Water
You’re at a restaurant. You order water. You will be asked a few questions. Still? Natural? Gas? Some restaurants will offer cold water, but is far from common. I can't remember the last time I was offered it.
Having picked your way through that minefield, a bottle of water (most common) will appear in your table or, if the restaurant thinks of themselves as fancy, a very heavy carafe of water - with glass so thick there isn’t much water in it. You’re going to pay 1 - 3 euro.
There’s a new law here. At any restaurant you go to you can order tap water. You will get a half-filled small glass.
Of t-shirts
For the past 20+ years, Scott has been involved in academia, either working admissions for a college or as an college counselor for a private school. During this time it was common to bump into people wearing school t-shirts.
Plus, it was very common to see people wearing t-shirts or hats announcing their favorite sports team. We have several ourselves.
We have rarely seen sports team apparel here, except in the team stores. Maybe it’s only worn at the game?
We do see people wearing shirts advertising a college or city. If you say, oh! Did you go to XYZ School? the answer is um, no?
Fun with Portuguese
Portuguese often does not neatly line up with English. Here’s but one example:
Eles falam da gente
They speak of the people.
What it actually means: They talk about us.
Eu não ponho a mão no fogo por ningúem
I no put the hand in fire for no one.
I trust absolutely no one.
Laughter
We have been quite puzzled by written laughter here. It seems many Europeans write ahaha instead of hahaha. We finally figured it out!
That’s all for now,
Love from Lisbon,
Amy & Scott
Rainy season here is mid-October to April.
Your updates are as always, a delight. Thanks for sharing that point about expats vs. immigrant. I was technically an expat in Singapore when I was working for a Wall St. bank but I was definitely separate from the white/wealthy/elitist/bougie Americans who only hung out at the 'American' club. I happily spent my time w/ locals and explored the country. Why visit another country if you don't want to interact w/ locals and just hang out w/ other Americans? SMH.
When I moved to San Diego, I found it odd that everyone was so friendly. I had lived my entire life in New England where people are not unfriendly, they just have established communities. I expect it is analogous there.
I was quite confused that Memrise thought that I needed to know how to say “hatred corrodes the soul” many lessons before learning words like “rice” and “beef.” There was also a phrase like “the clinic is next to the train station “ in a lesson about telling people you found them attractive. Maybe I am older than their target audience? (That being said, babble for Italian teaches you to order an Aperol spritz whereas the German includes phrases like “the paper is under the printer.”).